I lost one house and in the process of losing the house in Chicago. My parents split up. Mom moved to Chicago and dad spends most of the time at work or in Guatemala. Family fell apart way back. Got one brother in rehab. The other one is in and out of jail with baby momma drama. I’ve gotten rejected by all the guys I’ve like. Been rejected by the one guy I’m in love with like five times. Friends don’t seem to even be there anymore. I worked hard, but get shitted on. I feel so fucking alone and I don’t know what to do. I’m go crazy.
I realized that I have the worst luck with guys. None of them want me for anything more than a sex toy, but fuck that shit. I’m tired of showing you how I feel about y’all. Tired of trying to get you guys to realize that I’m a great girl. I’m tired of being y’all sex toy. For now on, y’all will be MY sex you, I will never let you guys see how I really feel, and I will be the one treating y’all like shit. Just watch. Cause I don’t need y’all as long as I got me and my family got me.
I don’t wanna have a great, amazing couple of months and then all of a sudden its over. I don’t want to experience the feeling of being lost, confused, and hurt all over again. I wanna be with you. And I want us to last, no matter how hard any situation is, no matter what/who comes between us.
haha if youre bored you could kiss me idk just sayin
I was finally content with my life. I got people off my back, got rid of people, didn’t like anyone nor did I want to, no worries, and I was going towards sunshine. Then, I met him. Of course I found him attractive, but didn’t want anything with him. Then, I started liking him and I didn’t think of him as a piece of meat like I’ve had to all these guys I wanted to use. Got feelings for him when I finally got done with that crap. I started worrying again, got people annoying me, and I’m going crazy. Not only am not content with my life anymore; I’m here feeling like a hopeless middle school girl crushing on this guy who isn’t even interested in her. Just when I got done with this bullshit, I’m back at it again.
I don’t know why but all these negative thoughts just came into my head making think that he might not even like me. Why would he even go after someone like me? I really like him for some damn reason and I’m scared now. I don’t want to get hurt anymore..